Red Velvet Oreos and Key Lime Poetry...

I am a fanatic about Oreos.  I remember sitting on my broken down recliner in my apartment in Milledgeville some 14 years ago, with a cup of milk and 4 or 5 Oreos, dunking them in milk and hoping for the perfect dissolve ratio before eating the whole thing in one magnificent yalp. The chocolate, the filling, all hanging together just by a thread, else the whole cookie dissolves and you have to fish it out of the bottom of the cup (or it goes down your shirt, whichever).  I got so mad when, after gleefully purchasing the white chocolate dipped Oreos at Christmastime, to discover that the white chocolate made the Oreos undunkable.  They were useless to me then, and so, in a fit of depressed euphoria, as was my premedicated state in those days, I threw them away.

So I happened upon "Red Velvet Oreos" at the grocery store sometime in February, and I bought them... Red Velvet Oreos with Creme Cheese Frosting.  It had a date with a perfectly poured glass of milk just at bedtime... and so I bought some milk.  And got sick.  No milk for me when sick, so the milk sat in my refrigerator, bacteria multiplying, becoming some foul brand of yogurt, and I had to throw it out.  When I got over my combined ear/sinus infection (doctor said it was the Flu), I then had paid said doctor $160 dollars, and so I had no money to purchase a new container of milk.

So, after my health, my budget, and my milk supply met in unison, I finally poured that cup of milk and dunked my Red Velvet Oreo and waited the prescribed seconds for the milk to penetrate the layers of cookie and filling.  I actually figured out (either from Online or by sheer luck and genius) that I could use a fork, stuck in filling, to force the Oreo under (as Oreos float, leaving the top cookie exposed to air and not milk) to continue the saturation process.  I don't remember if I did that this time, although I didn't need to.  The Red Velvet concoction dissolved perfectly, and the flavor was spot on, a creamy, fantastic Red Velvet Cake in the shape of a cookie. I cannot recommend an Oreo higher than this.

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Have you ever eaten something that made you want to write poetry? That made fireworks go off and your taste buds wake up and say "Why have you been stuffing tasteless mush into yourself all these years??"  I have had those experiences, and I've learned that the best foods come from those who put as much passion into their cooking as spices and seasonings.  I had a Javanilla Shake at Borders made by the most wonderful cook (Katrina, who is now at a hospital revising the notion of Hospital Food), and every single sip of the heavenly drink tasted as good as the first.  Even down to the bottom, where ice clumps were known to gather, turning everything into a watered down mess, it was evenly flavored.

And then there's the Honey Soy Salmon that the family owned Bangkok Grill serves in Covington, GA. You don't go into a place yearning for their Rice Cakes, but this one makes amazing Rice Cakes. I took some on my move to Dallas with me, to keep me awake. You can't eat and sleep at the same time.  But the Salmon...ohhh... that was a precious gift (my friend Gwen took me there as a going away meal).  I have made a close replica of it in my own kitchen, but the tenderness of it, and the soy, truly awesome!!

So today, with the first warm sun beaming down upon Dallas, I decided I was going to splurge, just this once, and go to Sweet Tomatoes and try their Banana Upside Down Cake they were advertising. It was mediocre... but, amongst the flavors which I experienced there (and read my prior blog about all those amazing flavors at Sweet Tomatoes in Addison, TX.) I found the Key Lime Muffin.  Sweet and soft inside, and tart and Crispy, with the right amount of sprinkled sugar on top... all the parts of my tongue and mouth were awake and aware and understood their function in life.  I only had one.  I only needed one.  I understand now the idea that cooks have when they bring out their culinary masterpieces, and it turns out to be some little dinky piece of something with something swirled around for decoration.  Their attempt, whether it succeeds or not, is to provide an instant shock of flavor and recognition of genius, and then let the signals enter the brain and form new neurons of memory, recorded for all time.  It matters not that the stomach is full, but rather that the mind is full.  You can go to any Chinese Buffet and eat enough that your stomach is ready to burst out of your skin, but what of flavor? What of the memory of that meal?  It is forgotten by the time you leave the parking lot (possibly to be revisited later, which may or may not be pleasant).  But this, this muffin, I only have to have one of them for the engram to be recorded forever into my skull.  I hope it's not a limited time thing, as Sweet Tomatoes often does, as I will want to sample those fireworks again.  

Oh, to work at the kitchens of that company, to invent the things which mouths will record and brains remember for years to come!  If that is not a chef's dream, to live in immortality through the food they create, then I don't know what is... We all strive to create things.  Some have babies, others have books or music or art.  I have a blog, my brother has a son. Chefs have something that maybe only musicians have, an art form that is temporary, where the notes are produced and soar through the concert halls and into the ears, where those signals are captured forever.  And that, if they are lucky, is immortality.  Chefs do likewise, through the signals the mouth and tongue create when they bite down into that Honey Soy Salmon, or that Key Lime Muffin, or the Red Velvet Oreo.  Somewhere, the inventor of that Oreo can be grateful that he or she can live in the recorded sensations in people everywhere, as they dunk the cookie in milk, and then, with eager anticipation, and urgency, pop it into their mouths.

Denzil Reviews Everything!!! (Sweet Tomatoes Restaurant)

Yes, every single thing... I'll review it... like the Dayquil I just took this morning to help with my cold, said it was non-drowsy... slept for 6 hours afterward. But it helped.

I wanted to talk about food.  There's not a place in this world where you can find massive amounts of food being trucked in than the city of Dallas.  There are restaurants everywhere, that is, everywhere there's not a Whole Foods or some specialty grocery store.  Seems that all people do here is eat.  And I'm okay with that.  My goal was to go to one restaurant a paycheck, try something new.  I'll do that, eventually, and I will finish when I'm Methuselah's age.

I have to say, I'm addicted to Sweet Tomatoes.  I think there's a misconception about me and food, that as long as it has cheese or comes in a box that can be warmed up in the microwave, I'm all set.  And while that's certainly true, there's always a question of flavor.  If I'm going to eat, I would really like to have something that tastes like something.  You find me something that is healthy, and tastes amazing, bonus points if it's cheap, and I'll be the healthiest person on Earth.  

I found the answer to this paradox in the glorified salad bar that is Sweet Tomatoes.  Take the idea that Golden Corral made and then refine it.  The difference being that, you pay the exact same price for either place to eat everything that you want, but at Golden Corral, you walk out absolutely stuffed, but then can't remember anything that you've eaten.  You've eaten a massive amount of food, but your body doesn't remember any of the flavors experienced.  My brother says of me (and he's right) that I remember the places I've been to by the things I eat there.  I can tell you the exact places and foods I ate that were the best "X" I've ever eaten.  And those come along so rarely, that those engrams are pasted into my memory as firmly as any "where were you when" scenarios. 

So I was fighting a cold in January and saw the promotion at Sweet Tomatoes of their (shock) Tomato Soup.  I had to have some.  So I filled up a plate with salad, a Romaine Asiago with Lemon, covered with a Lite Honey Mustard Dressing.  Each flavor you put on that salad adds or detracts from it.  Blue Cheese adds a tart, musty flavor right in the back of the throat, while the lemon is a tang on the top of the mouth.  I tried adding Balsamic Vinegar to it... bad idea... that was too much.  And the thing is... it's all that way. Everything in the restaurant has a flavor to it.  It's not trying to get you to buy a drink, not trying for filling you up, it's trying to get you to remember those flavors, perhaps, with a carbonated beverage, you'll remember them for an hour afterwards, but that's okay.  

The businessmen who run these eating places, they make things like Taco Bell's Steak Stacker, and put all this meat and cheese in it, and forget to add flavor.  IHOP's omelettes are huge, and bland, and I've been to plenty of Mexican restaurants where spices by the ton are added to a dish, but no flavor.  It just makes you thirsty (which, of course, is the idea).  Give me a place that values flavor over filling, and I'll eat there every day.  The olive oil on the cheese bread, the Rosemary in the Potato Leek Soup (needs a little more salt, though.) Fantastic stuff, each touching parts of the palette, each adding a memorable part of the meal.  That I don't get leftovers, and that I might have to eat later on that day, are both worth actually enjoying a meal.

One last thing, if you're reading this in February 2015, go get the Red Velvet Cake they have for dessert.... creme cheese frosting.... so good!!!  And there's always coupons, signing up online for them, and whatnot.  The closest one to my friends in Georgia is the one at Gwinnett Place Mall, or one at Perimeter Mall.  Go have soup and a salad... you'll be glad you did.

White Chocolate Candy Corn; Book Christmas Trees

In 2006, a year after I began working at Borders, M&M's introduced White Chocolate M&M's, to coincide with the Pirates of the Caribbean Sea movie.  If you could have seen me when I heard the news, it would be one of the few times I've "fangirled" over something (the latest being the trailer for The Mysterious Cities of Gold, 2nd season.) Squealing with delight, I went to multiple grocery stores trying to find the elusive pieces of white heaven.  For it's the ironically named "White Chocolate" that is the greatest of candies. Having tasted it first as a white chocolate fudge  at the Cafe in Stone Mountain a long time ago, and letting it melt down my throat in explosions of creamy goodness (yep, I fangirled), it became seared into my memory as the best thing to experience at the big granite rock.

So it was with ginormous displeasure when I realized that White Chocolate M&M's were inferior and not worth getting.  I doubt I finished the sack I bought.  Here's why.  White Chocolate, when properly made, has a much lower melting point than regular chocolate. It doesn't do well in shipping in large trucks, even when refrigerated.  So, most white chocolate foods are made and sold during the winter months.  If you recall the White Chocolate covered Oreos that are always around Christmastime (which, by the way, are equally disappointing for a totally different reason. Oreos are meant to be dunked in milk, and yet the white chocolate covering prevents the cookie from dissolving inside the milk.  Thus, the Oreos are useless.  I actually threw the mostly uneaten container of WCC-Oreos away). The WC
M&M's were sold in July, and Mars company realized the issue.  They put some sort of chemical inside the white chocolate that prevented it from melting.  Wonderful..... except.... it didn't "Melt in your Mouth" either.  It wouldn't dissolve at all, leaving the flavor of the chocolate from covering every millimeter of my taste buds.  It was a major let down.

Now, I'm happy to announce, they've got it right!! White Chocolate Candy Corn M&M's, for the Halloween season, are great!  They added a little honey flavor to the sugar coating, and reconfigured the make up of the white chocolate in the middle. Great job Mars!!!  But good luck finding them!


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For the Christmas season, I got creative and made a Book Tree for the Friends of the Library Bookstore at the Nancy Guinn Library here in Conyers, GA.  Got the idea off the Internet, looking for things to do with old Law Books.  Here is the result:

...

The Persistence of Memory of Food

....or what not to get at Arby's.


My family will say that whenever I talk about a vacation I've been on or a place I visited, I will link that memory with food I ate while I'm there. They're quite correct, as there is no other combination of smell, taste, and texture, that will bring up memory responses as quickly as food. If you ask me if I've ever been in an Earthquake, I will happily tell you about the 7.0 Earthquake that hit Bear Lake on the other side of Los Angeles, where we were visiting for the month. Aside from going to Disneyland (which was much more hype and not enough substance, but that's another blog altogether) and seeing the sites of LA and falling asleep on the traffic-clogged interstates (I think it was Jet Lag), I will tell you about the hotel that we stayed in, near the airport, and how, when the Earthquake hit, I saw the pool water move from one side of the pool to the other in unison, as if a teeter-totter were underneath it. And I will tell you about reading C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia, and how much I enjoyed it. But mostly, I will tell you about the exquisite Danishes they had in the Hotel Lobby for breakfast. Cheese, Cherry...I have had no better Danishes before or since, and no that I Think on it, the sleepiness probably had something to do with blood sugar.

And I can tell you about the Nachoes I had at Mustang Valley Elementary school, of which I have never found their equal, or the homemade salad dressing I put on the Fiestadas when we had them. Fiestadas...mmmmmm.... there were times I sat in the middle of my college classes craving a Fiestada with the veracity of a pregnant woman.

I've talked about other foods in blogs in the past, such as the Hot Ham & Cheese sandwich from Hardees', or the Tripledecker Pizza from Pizza Hut. I will leave these to my other writings.

Why I'm writing this... I went to Arby's to try out their Angus Beef, Bacon and Cheese sandwich, as it is similar to the three cheese sandwich they promoted back in the 1990's. I remember the last time I had that sandwich was in Milledgeville, around 1999, and the flavor was exquisite. This time, however, while the beef was good, I had to hunt to find any cheese, I got two bites of bacon, and the sandwich was much smaller than I remembered. Perhaps this is the lesson to be learned from food, that the memory of the sensual aspects of an object is often times inflated and will only cause an anticlimactic feeling afterward. Very rarely is something as good the tenth time as it is the first. We must continuously be looking for new variety, and savor those memories so that when a certain spark of synapse travels through the brain, igniting a smell or taste or other memory, it will be all the more pleasurable. We cannot recreate the past, only create new memories for what is to come.

The Feast of a Crow

I think I've been neglecting my blogging duties lately...oh well... :)

I stepped out of my car at the Stonecrest Parking lot on a Monday morning, and , noticing the unusually loud "CAW" of a crow (or at least a really large, black bird), naturally, I "CAWED" back at it. Then I listened to the numerous chirping of the many sparrows that frequent our parking lot in search of the fallen french fry, and said, "Damnedable birds. I wish the Crows were carnivores, and'd eat the smaller birds." Then I realized that the crows did eat meat, albeit bugs, worms, and things of that nature. As well as carrion, and plant and seed material, if nothing else is available. Birds are, for the most part, (apart from the larger birds, Pterodactyls, and the like) Omnivores.

Which got me to thinking.... I had recently found a photo in a Facebook friend of someone eating a Soy Cheese Pizza. To that I had to make some snarky remark, along the lines that, like Caffeine Free Diet Coke, soy cheese misses the point. I mean, let's face it, CFDC (see above) is just brown water with bubbles. Aside from the aspartame that is poisoning all of us, it does nothing. And eating soy cheese (and I've tried it before), does nothing to progress the clogging of arteries and certainly doesn't taste as good as the real thing. To which, the person eating the pizza said, "Well, yes, if you like mammalian stomach enzymes in your food." I am supposing, by this, that he is a vegetarian. Which, BTW, I have no problem having mammalian stomach enzymes in my food, if they are going to taste as good as that. Take a nice smoky Gouda cheese, or an imported Guyere cheese..... I'm in heaven!!!

Anyway, as I was looking at the birds, I suddenly realized the connection between them and the soy cheese pizza. Namely, that among all the reasons for becoming a vegetarian (most of which are valid, health driven reasons that I will have none of), I've heard the killing of animals and the eating of meat as being inhuman. Well, as humans are, last I checked, animals as well, and there are many creatures on this Earth that eat meat, or both, as the crows and other birds exemplify, eating flesh is just as natural and as common as the many creatures we share this orb with.

I care not to go into other reasons why or why not to be a vegetarian, as this is a personal decision, one that has no impact upon my life unless I go to one's house, in which case I'll bring my own mammalian stomach enzymes along. Because as for me, myself, personally, I have no problem eating cow or chicken or fish or pig or whatever animal happens to be cooked in the meal. Heck, as long as it tastes good, I don't particularly care what's in the egg rolls. Lamb doesn't taste all that good, but that's just me. For me, it's all about the pleasure gained in eating whatever it is. It really has nothing to do with diet, as I'd just as soon eat a grilled chicken caesar salad (fixed stir-fry style from a wok like they did at the cafeteria at GC&SU...so good!!!) as a hamburger. In fact, I'd rather do that than get a Double Cheeseburger (not the McDouble, as they skimp on the piece of cheese) from McDonalds, as there really is no pleasure in eating one (unless it's the Triple Cheeseburger... that's just sinful eating.)

Because, while I know of my family's history of dying of heart attacks, I cannot help but have strong Epicurean ideas about things. I will not go through life miserable and frugally, keeping myself miserable just to satisfy society's ideals about what is aesthetically appealing, or to keep a couple of cows from becoming meat. I will eat and do whatever makes me happy, within the boundaries of my belief system. For Epicureans aren't just the gluttonous, lustful, sloths (well, that's three of seven) that the name implies. Epicureas believed in a balance of pleasures, because as a Post-Aristotle philosopher, he realized that to reach eternal happiness, or the greater good, for one's own life or for the good of mankind, that self-restraint must be applied. Forgo a pleasure now to achieve a greater one later. Save up money from Double Cheeseburgers to enjoy a Red Lobster meal later. Or to buy a dear friend something that will light up their face and bring joy to their lives.

So give me the cheese, and the meat, and the clogged arteries, and let me live my life the way I want to, bringing happiness to myself and to those around me. And if that means I don't live quite as long as those who eat salads and soy cheese pizzas, then, that's okay with me. Let me be one of those fat people that Caesar wanted about him. They were happy folk. Too bad they couldn't stop daggers.

Fat Guys are Always so Animated

"Are you struggling with body fat?" I hear this all the time on commercials, with miracle cures and potent pills that might lose me some weight, but it'll be because I'm spending all my time in the restrooms, not the restaurants. So I got to thinking. What are the reasons one diets and exercises to lose weight.

Valid Reason: The immediate health of the person. Sure, my ankles hurt, especially when I go up stairs and climb a bunch of ladders...etc... And I don't expect to be running miles, or trying to outrun a bear (and lets face it, in olden times, one reason why being fit was important was so if you did meet up with said bear, you might live). So if immediate discomfort was enough to make me lose weight, I'd do it.

Invalid reasons:

You'll look better, you'll be able to date, you'll be able to get a better job...etc... cosmetically, for some reason, the more muscle and the leaner you are, the more attractive you seem to be. This is a biological trait, probably going back to pre-historic times, that the ones that were strongest, could outrun said bears, and could run miles, would be the ones that ended up copulating with the women. But if you look at it now, being successful doesn't mean running miles or lifting hundreds of pounds every day (although it might help.) The saying "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," certainly applies to this. There are cultures that have existed where fat was considered a label of royalty and luxury, where people who could get fat were admired as people with money (thus to get food) and happiness (quoth Julius Caesar, "I would have about me men that are fat, for they are happy. Lean men have a dangerous look" (paraphrased from my memory)). And certainly, if those cultures existed today, they would look upon the USA as a land of luxury and royalty, because we are all* chubby.

And the aliens that pick up our broadcasts will see that the fat, lazy father is truly head of the household. Especially when it comes to animated TV shows. Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, and in real TV, Rosanne's husband, each were very lovable characters, loved by their wives, and able to be drawn naked (well, except for on Rosanne) because their stomachs hid certain private parts. :) So the aliens will interpret that those who are overweight are masters of their universes. And so they should be. It is the attitude taken up by my cat (who is female), who is big in stature, smug in outlook, and master of her domain.

"But you want to live a long time, right?" Well, it depends on how long you think a long time is. How old is old? 60? 70? 50? Is living half a century enough time to do what you need to do? Would it be better, living a long time, being disciplined about diet and constantly worrying about health, and generally unhappy, or is it better to live an Epicurean life, shorter, but happier? To taste the cheese, the chocolate, and the wine (except I don't drink). As Mark Lowry said, "There are two ways to go, cholesterol and worry, and cholesterol's so much more fun." I agree with him. So, for me, it's not a matter how long I live, but how much enjoyment I get out of the years I do live.

I've seen old people, living with no heat or air conditioning, drinking powdered milk and crusts of bread. And not because they can't afford the food, but for some reason they insist on living that way. I can't do that. Give me the heater (which will one day catch my house on fire, but it makes my feet nice and toasty), and my air conditioner (which is why I have the heater on), and my Hot Pockets, and I shall spend my money to make me comfortable, cause I'm not going to take it with me, and I don't think there will be anyone to leave it to.

It's not a depressing or pessimistic attitude, it's just looking realistically about life. And if you look at TV shows, it's very obvious that fat guys are happy. I would much rather be fat and happy than lean and miserable. Give me the cheesecake, and the ice cream, and the pizza, and I will laugh at the people running in the park when it's 20 degrees outside. And they, with all their muscles, can lift my coffin. They're going to need them.

French Fries cooked in Lard (or making bad food good for you.)

Sitting at lunch today, eating my Hot Pockets (that's what Bruce calls me, Hot Pockets, cause that's what I always eat. I can just imagine Yoda saying, "How you become strong eating this? (or something like that)), I glanced over at the Papa John's Pizza boxes sitting next to me (why don't they pick Pizza Hut? It's always Papa John's, and it always tastes like cardboard, with garlic sauce, which is the only redeeming quality.), and noticed the saying, "All Papa John's Pizzas have 0 Trans-Fats!" I immediately launched myself into a tirade to the first person I saw, which was Andrew, about the criminal act of making bad food good for us.

Remember when McDonald's french fries were so irresistible? That's cause they were cooked in lard, or as bad as an oil as you can get. I look at it this way. We have a choice. We can eat healthy and live long time, or we can enjoy ourselves, carve a few years off of the end, when we will be senile, bitter fools in nursing homes, and enjoy the passage of time, as James Taylor once sang. God gave us free will. A choice between Eden and the Apple of Knowledge and a lifetime of work, labor, and self-awareness. He gave us the choice to choose what is best for us, or to travel down other roads.

So when it comes to Fast Food restaurants, they should know very well and good that a person coming into, say, a McDonalds, and wants to order a double-quarter pounder with cheese and supersize the fries thank you very much is not going to care about whether or not his fries are cooked in non-trans-fat oil or not. He wants them to taste good. And if you poor salt on them, they taste okay, because all you can taste is the salt. But the taste of fried goodness is all gone, because they are trying to make bad food good for you.

What really irks me is that the restaurants don't actually care about the need to make you healthy. They are afraid of lawsuits (such as those that have already been dismissed), or of government legislation that will forbid or outlaw the businesses from making money. Such has recently been enacted by the liberal legislature of the City of Los Angeles, which has denied any fast food chains from building in certain lower socio-economic areas of the city. The reasoning is that poorer people would rather spend the dollars on a double cheeseburger than they would on healthy food. The studies indicate that poor people are obese. Now, while I could spend all day showing how real poor people couldn't be obese because they would not have any food to begin with (i.e. Africa, parts of Asia...etc.), I will settle instead on looking at the ideological basis on which they made the law.

The Democrats in the legislature have determined that poor people obviously can't spend their money correctly, nor can they have the self-discipline to eat healthy, so the government has decided to make the decisions for them. The government has no right to interfere in the private lives of it's citizens (see numerous blogs about Libertarianism prior to this), and if they want to line up inside of a Mcdonalds and gain weight to the moon, it is their choice. Even to be indirectly influencing the businesses to make things healthy goes against the free market system. If Mcdonald's french fries taste better cooked in lard, and will make them more money, then they should cook them in that manner. I won't buy french fries from them anymore, because they taste awful. And therefore they are losing money from me, and probably from more than just me.

So let us eat our fatty foods, and let us drink our high-calorie drinks, and know that we probably won't live as long, but it's our choice to do so. I know that in a past blog, I have referenced Mike Huckabe's book Quit Digging Your Grave with a Knife and Fork where he says that we are all slowly committing suicide, and I understand that point. But I also know that it's our fundamental right to choose to do that if we want to. Now....where'd I put my Coke???

As an addendum, I came home and flipped on the Internet, and the first thing that I saw on Yahoo was an article talking about what Michael Phelps craved after winning his 8th gold medal. The answer.... junk food. Even the most fit person on the planet will want bad food. Of course, he deserves it. :)

Receipe for Eagle Brand Pie, and Road Rants.

Here at Borders, we are preparing a dinner for two employees who are leaving us, and while I was making my Eagle Brand Pie:

1 can Eagle Brand Milk
1 box Philadelphia Cream Cheese (regular, not diet)
1/3 cup of Real Lemon from Concentrate
1 tsp of Vanilla Extract

Beat Cream Cheese, add the rest, mix... put in graham cracker crust. Refrigerate for a day.

my grandmother, who didn’t get it, asked why I didn’t just go to the store and buy something. Because there’s nothing in this world that annoys me more than to go to a pot luck dinner and see a pie or cake or whatever on the table complete with Publix label and container. At least have the decency to put it in another container to make it look like you made it.

I passed by the new day care center they are constructing next to a lower socio-economic, crime ridden neighborhood in Conyers. My brother had once spent the night guarding the equipment up there, being paid a considerable amount to do so. Finally, since they realized they couldn’t afford off-duty police officers, they erected a giant fence with barbed wire around it from a rent-a-fence company. Now what I want to know is, if they have to do all that just to keep people from robbing the construction site, why would they want to build a place where children can play and learn in relative safety there? It makes no sense to me... but of course material goods are worth much more melted down or sold at pawn shops for drug habits than children are.

I recently saw a motley crew of government individuals repainting the lines on the Parker Road Bridge in Conyers. A noble activity, to be sure, although most people ignore the lines anyway (including, sometimes, me). It got me thinking about the various times when I’ve run over those cement triangles they put in the road to put turn lights on, or to provide a lane for people to make right hand turns in. If it’s dark and rainy, there is no way you’re going to see those things, and you will test your shocks on those cement barriers, and hopefully not ram into one of those signs. Unfortunately, quite a few signs in Rockdale County have been bent over by people, probably inebriated, that have missed the edge of the street and gone careening into the signs. The solution for this is simple, and it would save money in the long run. Iridescent paint, yellow, to be painted on the edges of the curbs so that the street edges would be clearly defined. It would save a few signs, anyway.

Off to work...wish it would warm up and stay that way. Winter has overstayed its welcome for far too long.

Pizza, Cookies, Food for Thought.

I come home from work last night, and my brother has ordered Pizza. Papa John's Pizza. One with Ham and spinach, and no tomato sauce (which is his... he's got Acid Reflux so bad that he had to buy three different trumpets in high school/college because the acid in his saliva ate through the front part of it.) And one with pepperoni and bacon. Now, first of all, the bacon on most pizzas is burnt and hard and gets in my teeth. Secondly, the tomato sauce is either shoveled on there or not present at all, the crust is rubbery, and the cheese is dry. But my mom and brother like it, cause it's "not as greasy as Pizza Hut's pizza."

Which is true. And aside from the garlic-butter-ultrafattening-itssogood sauce they put with each pizza, Papa John's pizzas are inferior to most other pizzas, including the ones you get for a dollar at the grocery store. Pizza Huts pizza's have the ideal amount of tomato sauce, ultra greasy cheese and pepperoni, piping hot cheesy goodness. And I'll gladly exchange adding the garlic butter for the moistness of PH's pizzas any day, and we're not even talking about the stuffed crust or the Triple-decker pizza that they really need to bring back. And I feel so sorry for the myriads of college students at Georgia College in Milledgeville who have had to use PJ's pizza for their meetings because PH doesn't deliver down there.

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Okay, I'm gonna complain about my own company right now. So corporate people can listen in, or tune out, I don't care. Went to the cafe yesterday, looking for something sweet, and found Seattle's Best Ovensong Chocolate Chip cookies. Looked really good, so I bought one, took it downstairs, and warmed it up. The chocolate tasted much like plastic, and the cookie was sub-par. Why, oh Why did they switch from the amazing cookies they had before. Their White Chocolate cookie from the beginning of Seattle's Best Cafe, warmed up, was the best cookie I've ever tasted. It leaves the current cookies tasting like dust. So Borders, or Seattle's Best, if you're reading this, please go back to the old cookies, and you can charge whatever you want for them and I'll gladly buy them. The best things are always discontinued.

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I was recently talking to a friend about Shoney's, whose declining sales and closing stores have effectively brought an end to American food restaurants in America. And for good reason, the quality of the food has declined, and the customer service has gone down. But there's something to be said for eating comfort food, good old American food, when nothing else will do. I crave Shoney's salad bar occasionally. I miss the breakfast bar with the strawberry shortcake and the french toast sticks and the eggs with the cheese sauce. And the Shoney's brownie ice cream dessert is something only to be outdone by Applebee's brownie ice cream sundae. So good! But I guess the time to eat American food is gone, replaced by Chinese or Italian or Mexican or whatever, most of which have been Americanized and disguised as such.

***

Finally, you can read all of that and listen to my arteries clog, but you also have to realize that food is one of the pleasures in this world I enjoy, and that society has not tabooed in one form or another.

Capitalism urges it, even as they promote diet plans to combat against it. Go to any magazine rack and pick up Ladies' Home Journal, and you'll find, in big letters, the latest greatest diet plan inside, pictured along side some amazing looking chocolate cream something or another.

Religion uses food in every measure of their faith. Even Jesus ate before he was crucified. The Methodists probably get more converts through good cooking than good preaching, and who hasn't wanted to drink a little more of Jesus' blood or eat more of the body of Christ (oyster crackers) during the Lord's Supper when all we want to do is sing the Doxology and run over to the Olive Garden and beat the lines.

Even our own brains, where Seratonin is raised by most any food, needs food to regulate mood and energy levels. And why is it that sweet tastes so good after salty?

In fact, and this is getting down to the point, that most pleasures that our world provides is ultimately going to cause pain, sickness, or death. If we're talking about wine, or sex, or food, or thrills of excitement and danger, each has the ability to kill us in one way or another. And that's not a depressing point to make. Bob Dylan sang, "He not being born is busy dying," and James Taylor chimed in, "The secret of Life is enjoying the passage of time." So, yes, the things we take pleasure, vices, if you will, will probably end up putting us in our graves, but who wants to live a long and miserable life? We should find our joys in life and treasure them, whether they be a good cheesecake or a precious loved one. And not worry about the problems that come down the road. It sounds Epicurean, and to some extent, it does. But if we add the self-regulation that a good, moral mind must exert on itself, then such vices are kept in balance, and we can enjoy life while acknowledging that we must die at some point. So let me have my greasy Pizza Hut pizza, and my moist White Chocolate chip cookie, and snuggle with one I love, because death is always not far away, and I would rather die knowing the sweetness of life, rather than the bitterness of trying to outmaneuver the grave.

To Be Discontinued....

On every TV show that I've ever watched, there are always the thrilling and anticipated season finales. And at the end, there is always this suspenseful cliffhanger, with the words "To Be Continued..." written on the end. You get to the good part, and then it cuts off.

Well, the same thing goes for everything else that's good in this world. If it's something I like, chances are it will be "discontinued" very shortly. The exceptions being Plinko on TPIR, and Transformers, which will go on forever. Here are some of the things I loved, but are now gone:

Josta. Pepsi does this constantly. Come out with a great idea, and then pull it because, in their mind, it didn't work. Josta was amazing, ahead of its time, and about the most addicting drink ever made. I loved the fruity taste, the high caffine content, and the guanara extract which kept me going at my grocery store job for hours. There was nothing that kept me going while studying for a test. Why oh Why did they pull it!!!????!!! I want my Josta! And while we're at it, how about Crystal Pepsi? Wonderful stuff, but as usual, it was gone in about 3 months.

Bar None. Hershey's crowning achievement. A chocolate lovers dream! I remember the last time I had one, at the Omniplex in Oklahoma City (look it up, wonderful museum, needs your support), got it out of the vending machine in the lunch room near the plant exhibit. For those of you that like to take apart your candy bars (Twix takes me like, 15 minutes to eat just one bar.), this one was amazing! There have been sugar free and low carb attempts at this one since, but nothing tastes better than the original.

The TripleDecker Pizza from Pizza Hut.. it's a limited time only pizza that they might bring back... Clogs my artries just thinking about it.

And it's just not food. Howabout Press your Luck, a game show on TV. Amazing show, way ahead of it's time, and it was on forever as reruns on the USA network. Probably the most visually stimulating game show to come out of the 80's, early 90's. The host died John Denver style in a plane crash (self made). A game show that any ADD kid craved. Oh well, have to make do with TPIR.

Or The Wizard. Only lasted one season. A midget toymaker turned detective/James Bond person. Sure, he never got the girl, but oh, those toys!!! Find it on IMDB.com

In the book world, there was a series started after The Sixth Sense with a very talented writer, David Benjamin, who wrote the books as well as M. Night made the movie. Trevor (HJO) was as real in the books as he was on screen. Unfortunately, there were only three books ever made. The series was better than other drivel that's out there. They should have made more.

There are other things, I'm sure. But I'll leave it at that. What things did you love, but were destined "to be discontinued..."?