Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Every Year is a Souvenir...

First off, I want to thank all the people that came to support me at my mother's funeral, it really meant the world to me.  It makes me realize that, while, I am a solitary figure, and would rather spend my days in the deepest forests in Georgia, I do value and appreciate friends and the people that do care about me.  I also want to thank people for the kind words said about my eulogy (which I originally wrote on this blog and then transferred it), as that means a lot to me, too.  Writing this blog is among the most important things in my life, leaving my thoughts and feelings on paper (or online), much like the multitude of letters I have found amongst the papers and photographs here at the house.

It is precisely that which I want to talk about.  You see, I have been going through the clutter in my house, trying to decrease the mass we've collected.  Thoreau was right, we do walk about this Earth with our collections tied to our backs, struggling through life like Atlas carrying the world.  My outlook on collecting things has changed considerably since the funeral, and while I will always be a pack rat, I understand that the volume that we procure is only temporary, that what is not useful, nor highly sentimental, is only worth what the market says it's worth.  I don't mean to think strictly along Capitalist lines, but that does help when looking at large volumes of stuff.  All it takes is going to Goodwill and seeing the shelves upon shelves of World Book Encyclopedias to see that the large metal bookshelf (which I once had my Transformers in, and trying to change the shelf levels will make even the most pious of monks curse like a sailor) that supported our 1985 set, is nothing but an obstacle which made it harder to get a gurney down our hallway.  The encyclopedias themselves are equally worthless, as online sources have made the cumbersome tomes good for smashing cockroaches, but little else.  I hope that whatever paper products they will be made into will serve mankind more than the books did these past decades.

One thing I learned is, verily, "You Can't Take It With You." But this doesn't mean what you think it means.   I have sorted through boxes upon boxes of newspapers, bills, printed articles, obituaries, photographs, and I have learned a few things.

1) Don't Make Scrapbooks!!  Yes, they make wonderful gifts, and the time you spend making them, you are thinking about the person you make it for.  But think for a moment about the people that will inherit these scrapbooks.  They are big, and for placing two or three pictures on each page, with all the knicknacks and paddywacks you put on them, it's not helpful for preserving the memories that should be presented.  My grandmother loved making scrapbooks.  With permanent tape.  You might as well have used rubber cement.  When looking at each picture, the caption for the photo is on the paper itself, not on the back of the photo.  You take the photo out (ripping the paper), you lose that information.

2) For photos, please think about people 50 years from now who will need to figure out just who that is.  I wanted my mom to go through all the pictures and identify them.  That was going to be a project for the next little bit, once she recovered.  But that didn't happen.  So while I can probably identify 75% of the people in the photos, there are some that I have no clue who they are.  I do have two relatives on one side of the family who can help, and none on the other.  I plan on scanning all the pictures and storing them on a digital site someplace so anyone who wants the pictures can easily take them and help me identify who they all are.

But before we even get to that point,  do two things, and all of that would be unnecessary.  Get as much info on the back as possible.  I pick up a picture of a kid that has fallen out of a card.  It says on the back, "Justin, Age 9"  I can't tell how old the picture is, who "Justin" is, how he is related to me, where he is now so if I want to get in touch with him, I can...etc... So.  put "Justin Mullins, 1985, age nine. Uncle Bob's child.  Now I can identify him, find a Christmas Card that goes with the names, and everything's great.  It might also help if the place in the photo is marked... OKC house on 59th St, or something.

Same thing with Obituaries... because I threw a lot of those away.  If the person in the Obit was the mother of the co-worker of my grandmother (my mom knew everyone in Oklahoma City, and so she went through the Obits each night and usually found one or two a week she knew something about), or if it was someone who performed at the Lyric Theatre.... put that on there somehow, so I'll know how all these people related to your, and consequently, my life.

I have sorted out every Christmas Card given to my family for the past 40 years, I think. Wonderful time of year, and the letters they sent were great, and I still have those.  Here's some tips on Cards... for those writing them.  You want your card to languish in the family archives for years to come? Write something on them, not just "Merry Christmas, Love Bob."  It doesn't tell me anything.  For those receiving the letter, the date the letter was written would be good, and maybe who they are.  I'll be perfectly honest, there were quite a few letters from a "Mary K." that someone wrote to my grandmother.  There isn't anyone that could identify who that was, and the letters (and I read quite a few of them) gave me no real evidence except it was probably someone from church.  I felt like I was trying to collect information for a court case.  And actually, if you read Orson Scott Card's Speaker for the Dead, it makes sense. By going through letters, cards, photos, I started to know about my family's lives before I was even born.  I kept all the letters so that, one day, I can decipher the letters (bad handwriting runs in my family) and know more about them.

Newspapers are wonderful things to sort out, just take twice the sinus medication beforehand.  I kept those papers of important events (9/11, Elvis' Death, Kennedy Assassination, Atlanta getting the Olympics), and those that had family members in them (I'll scan some of them in someday, share them here).  A lot of them, I did throw away, as the events meant little to me, or they meant something, but not enough to keep something concrete for years and years for me to drag around. For instance, my mom kept quite a few papers about the death of Randy Poynter.  He was a seminal figure in the history of Rockdale County, especially in establishing the Water system here and pushing for the Lake (now named for him) that we use for a water supply instead of Lake Lanier like everyone else in Atlanta. He was someone to be admired and remembered, but to keep papers and articles about him for years to come.... I remember him, and people that come after me probably won't care, so it's not really all that important.  Keep stuff that lets people know about the life you lived, the people you cared about, and let it go at that.

So, when I go over my own things, I'm gonna look at the same things.  When I croak, when people come in to look through all my things, what will it say about my life? What can I show them, what was important to me, and would they think, "What a bunch of junk!" I hope not.  I think, if I had to take it with me, and I don't mean into the Afterlife, but if I could only take what I could carry, I would take a copy of my blogs and my written and note filled copy of Henry David Thoreau's Walden. I could pick up whatever else I needed.  It is our thoughts that can never be regained. Everything else is but a souvenir in this life, "that slowly fades away."


  1. You should see my bedroom. I have my grandma's black & white television (and I had it in my house for years), my Dad's old VCR camcorder, my Dad's old Sony 8mm camcorder, my Mom's old Mac (and you can see it plain as day on my desk), my Uncle Jeff's old GRiD laptop, and my Sega Genesis, just to name a few. I am most definitely a pack rat. I may add to that collection, depending on what I can find at second-hand stores.

    Anyway, I know exactly what you mean by the scrapbooks. I used to keep a collection of sports articles and weather reports in scrapbooks growing up, but after awhile, I stopped (I didn't use scrapbooks for photos, by the way). It was just not worth it anymore. Plus, most of the sports articles were about athlete's personal lives, which adds to the "not worth it anymore" thought. Plus, some of the weather reports were really nothing news worthy.

    Good thing there are digital photos that you can upload on the Internet now a days. You can make whatever caption you want to make on those photos when you upload them on the Internet.

    Anyway, thanks for sharing with us. I guess it's hard for some people with part with certain things.

  2. I am sorry about the loss of your mother. I am just now reading this post and I didn't know she had passed.
    You have made such good points here and it reminds me of what some have said to me after the loss of their parents. So many photos and objects that were treasured and yet, very often, they have no idea who or what they are!
    See you out walking in Rockdale County!